Bengaluru new year case.
it's not anyone's fault
its not the fault of our nation
it's not the fault of our constitution
it's not the fault of our education system it's not the fault of our politicians
it's not the fault of our law
it's not the fault of our police department it is not the fault of women empowerment committees
it's not fault of people who chose to just be audience while I was getting molested
it's not the fault of that street where I was dashed down after being half raped and fully destroyed,
it is not the fault of that Silent Night when I thought I will celebrate it with my family
it's not the fault of that the narrow Road where I felt helpless as hell
where I was forced to feel like I am weak where I was forced to feel like I am unable to have control over the situation, it's not the fault of that CCTV which is recorded me being victim of a insane person's cruelity,
I think the CCTV was better than those who ignored when they saw me getting raped and walked ahead at least that machine recorded it and is still there doing its duty, mostly humans forget their duty and carry on with their work, from last few days even the brightest days are like the darkest nights and I could not sleep because I am living a real life nightmare,
I want to sleep to give rest to my brain but as I lay down I think someone from under my bed is going to jump over my body again as I fall asleep, and before I will scream, before I will ask for help, he will leave me with scars and be invisible to others, my mother, friends and people come and sit beside me giving me motivation to forget it and live again but I wonder if they could ever realise what I actually feel, I think they can never understand the hell I've been through, the only question that have choked my mind is "whose fault it was?" and before I could start to think over it in search of the answer the another question strikes my mind "till when the situation will be safe?" & before I realise that now I have two different questions in my mind to think upon, another question hits my brain cells "will it ever change or I am just wasting my time thinking over it?"
do I know who was that guy?
was my jeans were too tight that night?
was my boobs were slipping out of my strips?
do every girl feels the same after being molested?
Do every girl feels unsafe like me?
is this the nation we call land of gods and Goddesses?
is this the country where we worship Vaishno Devi who is her self woman and acquire same body as I have?
is this the country where we talk about women empowerment and women safety?
would that women helpline number had saved my life?
is nothing really has changed from Nirbhaya case in Delhi?
and the Waves of question continues to hit the ground of my mind and then they leave my brain cells like dry sand and without answers.
my inner self urges to be free mind and Fearless girl again but these questions are now like permanent scars on my face, and you know the worst part is that now all I can see is Mirror only,
I can only see the mirror unless or until the whole Nation, every person and the whole public either the artist,celebrities, doctors,politicians,teacher,student and the normal people living in the districts and The villages the of 29 states and 7 union territories, the temples, Mosque, churches and gurdwaras, and all the Pandits, maulvies, fathers and Gurus in them join their hands to come together and decide with their hearts and minds and souls to paint a beautiful portrait of my scary face to help me heal.
for now I am going to continue with my questions and the Colossal in my mind, but I wish before someone else becomes the victim of the same shit that I've been through, the whole Nation will get a solution.
it's not anyone's fault
its not the fault of our nation
it's not the fault of our constitution
it's not the fault of our education system it's not the fault of our politicians
it's not the fault of our law
it's not the fault of our police department it is not the fault of women empowerment committees
it's not fault of people who chose to just be audience while I was getting molested
it's not the fault of that street where I was dashed down after being half raped and fully destroyed,
it is not the fault of that Silent Night when I thought I will celebrate it with my family
it's not the fault of that the narrow Road where I felt helpless as hell
where I was forced to feel like I am weak where I was forced to feel like I am unable to have control over the situation, it's not the fault of that CCTV which is recorded me being victim of a insane person's cruelity,
I think the CCTV was better than those who ignored when they saw me getting raped and walked ahead at least that machine recorded it and is still there doing its duty, mostly humans forget their duty and carry on with their work, from last few days even the brightest days are like the darkest nights and I could not sleep because I am living a real life nightmare,
I want to sleep to give rest to my brain but as I lay down I think someone from under my bed is going to jump over my body again as I fall asleep, and before I will scream, before I will ask for help, he will leave me with scars and be invisible to others, my mother, friends and people come and sit beside me giving me motivation to forget it and live again but I wonder if they could ever realise what I actually feel, I think they can never understand the hell I've been through, the only question that have choked my mind is "whose fault it was?" and before I could start to think over it in search of the answer the another question strikes my mind "till when the situation will be safe?" & before I realise that now I have two different questions in my mind to think upon, another question hits my brain cells "will it ever change or I am just wasting my time thinking over it?"
do I know who was that guy?
was my jeans were too tight that night?
was my boobs were slipping out of my strips?
do every girl feels the same after being molested?
Do every girl feels unsafe like me?
is this the nation we call land of gods and Goddesses?
is this the country where we worship Vaishno Devi who is her self woman and acquire same body as I have?
is this the country where we talk about women empowerment and women safety?
would that women helpline number had saved my life?
is nothing really has changed from Nirbhaya case in Delhi?
and the Waves of question continues to hit the ground of my mind and then they leave my brain cells like dry sand and without answers.
my inner self urges to be free mind and Fearless girl again but these questions are now like permanent scars on my face, and you know the worst part is that now all I can see is Mirror only,
I can only see the mirror unless or until the whole Nation, every person and the whole public either the artist,celebrities, doctors,politicians,teacher,student and the normal people living in the districts and The villages the of 29 states and 7 union territories, the temples, Mosque, churches and gurdwaras, and all the Pandits, maulvies, fathers and Gurus in them join their hands to come together and decide with their hearts and minds and souls to paint a beautiful portrait of my scary face to help me heal.
for now I am going to continue with my questions and the Colossal in my mind, but I wish before someone else becomes the victim of the same shit that I've been through, the whole Nation will get a solution.
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